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Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
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- Scribe v. Pharisees (4)
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Feed Your Head
Tag Archives: satire
Quoting the Spearman
Q. Right. I’ll say something and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Then, I’ll say something else and you give me your first thought and so on and so forth, yada yada yada, yabba yabba do, boom … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, henchman, meddlesome, satire, Spearman, wisdom, zany
4 Comments
The 7 People You Meet In the 10-Item Lane
1.The con man with a full cart of groceries. The cashier points to the 10-item sign and he whimpers “This is the express lane? Oh no. I didn’t know. Please. I have very painful bone spurs. And, I’m just a few … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, garlic, geeze bag, Heimlich, idiot, moldering, pretzel rod, satire, zany
5 Comments
Hundo P
Q. Is that even a thing? A. Which that are you talking about? Q. That thing right there. I mean, if it is a thing. A. Okay, first thing you need to know about things: you have to distinguish between … Continue reading
Posted in F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, alternative truth, funny, hokey pokey, Hundo P, sarcasm, satire, thang
3 Comments
The inner chatter
Q. I can’t fall asleep at night. What’s up with that? A. Maybe you’re overtired. Q. What the hell does that mean? A. Sounds like Mr. Grumpy is overtired. Q. How can I be overtired and not be able to … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), Scribe v. Pharisees
Tagged absurd, anxiety, 睡觉的人, funny, Planet Nine, satire, Tu t'es moqué de moi, zany
6 Comments
Elephant check
I was in the counting house, counting all my money. Okay, our money. K-Mac sat counting the ways I needed to improve if I expected her to hang around for another 50 years. She suggested I stop fantasizing all the … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Dogs I Have Known
Tagged absurd, humor, K-Mac, lost elephant, muffin man, satire, zany
2 Comments
Nightmare traffic
Unidentified Patient (Not me): Does any of this make sense? Dr.Pepperoncini: I could ask “Any of what?” and you could blather on and while you’re blathering I could be thinking about what ruined my chances of becoming a sturgeon and … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, blather, funny, Parsippany, satire, sturgeon, zany
9 Comments
Uh oh, fake Haiku
Saturday, a day for fixing, or feeling guilt for fixing nada. A day to repair the broken strings of harmo dang, I whacked my ny. Mow the lawn, rake leaves, Vacuum downstairs then the up. Say goodbye to nap. Out … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, Baloney, funny, kaopectate, M&Emziz, nada, parody, satire, zany
2 Comments