Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: Mockery and derision
Oh no
I was doing the dishes after supper — doing an outstanding job by the way — when K-Mac asked “Where did you learn to wash dishes?” “I’m self taught,” I replied, using a steak knife like an ice pick to … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, auto-didact, funny, Grant's tomb, Haiku, K-Mac, oh, satire, zany
3 Comments
Fake news blues
Having worked for decades as a newsman, I am distressed to find that news has been supplanted by fake news (in some states, supplanted beneath turnips.) Perhaps worse, people tend to believe fake news more than the non-fake (aka real) … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, ducks, fake news, newsman, satire, turnips, zany
1 Comment
The crawfish pie guy
In the old days, a tough question at a job interview might be “How many murders have you committed?” Or “If we hire you, will you murder any of us? Specifically, um, me?” But today’s employers have gotten creative in … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, everclear, humor, lima bean, penguin, satire, uffda, walleye, WTP, zany
2 Comments
Rrrrrrrappahannock!
In Poker, they are called Tells. Little tics of character that a player inadvertently reveals about the cards in his hand — all the while convinced that his poker face gives away nothing. Sometimes we do the same in the … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, power chords, Rappahannock, satire, Shinola, zany
2 Comments
Pronouns of the Apocalypse
Q. Can I ask you something in confidence? A. In confidence of what? Q. In confidence you’ll keep it to yourself. A. Hmm. A very unfrequently asked question here at the F.A.Q. card table. Let me think about it. Q. … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, pronouns, satire, zany
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Sweating like a rat
In the latest Journal of Physiology, scientists in Finland (who even knew they had science in Finland?) describe how exercise creates new brain cells. The following line gave me pause: “Scientists in Finland gathered a large group of adult male … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, BDNF, brain cells, Finland, humor, satire, zany
1 Comment
F.A.Q. Who who hoo hoo
Q. Knock-knock A. Can I help you? Q. You’re supposed to say ‘Who’s there?’ A. Why? I can see who’s there. It’s you. Q. Yeah, but who am I? A. I give up. Who am you? Q. Come on. I’m … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, humor, igalixpoo, marmelade, Obama, satire, zany
2 Comments
a hint of light 