Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: Mockery and derision
Sign on White House fence
Attention IM-buh-sill Apparently the voices in your head have told you to climb over this fence to get into the White House so you can: a. use the throne b. check out the blue room to see if it’s really … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, farouk, funny, humor, satire, Secret Service, White House, zany
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My Mommy said not to put beans in my ears
Let’s say you have a headache caused by facing up to the folly of your life, vis a vis stubbornly clinging to the fantasy of getting rich, famous and relatively beloved by even non-relatives before deadness reduces you to a … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged commas, grammar, humor, idiots, satire, zany
8 Comments
Bilge water and bratwurst
ATTENTION READER: We have found below numerous words, phrases and ideas so offensive as to put the deeply constipated at risk for the spontaneous and painful delivery of a hippopotamus. We have therefore drawn a line through inappropriate verbiage, nounage, … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged Apocalypse, funny, humor, satire, Spanish Inquisition, Uncle Big Guy
3 Comments
Apostles playing shuffleboard
Persuaded by several factors, I decided to sell my Nobel Prize (NOZE). Factor One: I’d gotten all the glory I was ever going to get from it. My wife was proud, but she wasn’t going to get up every day … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged funny, Haiku, Last Supper, NOZE, satire, stink bug, walleye, zany
2 Comments
Irish in the powder room
At a party last week, I ducked into the powder room because I do unannounced freelance inspections on behalf of one of the bigger gunpowder companies. Fortunately, it was unoccupied at the time. It’s sooooo much easier that way. I … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged banjo, funny, humor, Jiminy Cricket, religious, Rob Roy, satire, zany
6 Comments
The Pope of comedy
Today on Talking With Famous Bob we welcome best-selling author Knute Knudeknick. His last book “God Made The World Flat So It’s Easier to Vacuum,” tells of a boy growing up poor on a throw-rug farm in North Dakota. When … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, F-bomb, funny, humor, Knudeknick, satire, zany
9 Comments
Two feet from your ear
No matter how good, caring and friendly a doctor is, one still must negotiate the idiotsyncracies of the doctor’s out front peeps. Often they are as caring as the doc. But often they are as caring as a dead duck … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, humor, lobotomy, satire, zany
10 Comments
a hint of light 