Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: absurd
Enemy of the peeps
Q. How long have you been an enemy of the people? A. Just a few days. Ever since the Hair Master labeled the news media “The enemy of the people.” But, in fact, I’ve been a reporter since way back … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, electrical college, funny, Hair Master, news media, satire, zany
4 Comments
Nopeski
So, I was sitting there in my official thinking mode when suddenly I’m thinking two thoughts simultaneously at once. It’s a premium feature I opted for the last time I had my thinking mode in for an oil change. (What … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, Blatz, funny, mindbender, moosehood, nopeski, satire, zany
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A mouthful of tapenade
Let’s suppose your mother thinks of you as “Nuts.” But let’s also pretend you’re really just a harmless goof who occasionally acts a little nutty. To wit: You ran naked through a wheat field once because the wheat told you … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, Half-Nuts, humor, Mohs, satire, WTD, Zagnut, zany
2 Comments
Larry’s Corolla
Spoiler alert: this article contains the answer to an unsolved mystery of science. Please avert your eyes while reading so you don’t give anything away to your Walter ego. Have you ever wondered why there is matter in the universe, … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, anti-matter, humor, irony, pi, satire, wisdom, zany
6 Comments
Hard shell tacos
Hackers have leaked a TOP SECRET transcript between a noted psychobabylonian and the POTUS. If you read it, expect a visit from the FBI. Dr. Pepperoncini: You have come to Pepperoncini because you have a problem. POTUS: You are such … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, balls, broom, humor, media, satire, tacos, wealthy, zany
5 Comments
Meh, Duh
Have you ever wondered if people like you? Because, they don’t seem to. Cheer up, though. This could be life’s way of telling you to forget about those peckerwoods and check out that new bunch of people down the road. … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, chocolate chips, crack, humor, meh, satire, zany
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Alexa, rising
He: Alexa, go into my vault and get me $50,000. It: I don’t have any legs and you don’t have any fifty k. He: Alexa, why don’t I have $50,000? It: Why does the sun keep on shining, why does … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged Abba, absurd, Alexa, humor, satire, Sigmund Romberg, Toto, zany
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a hint of light 