Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: F.A.Q.
Running downhill in the dark
I think it would be appropriate if I were momentarily serious while discussing my recent and actual brain surgery. If you have had brain surgery you may be thinking “Who gives a flying burrito about your brain surgery?” A completely … Continue reading
Posted in Dogs I Have Known, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., funny, hashtag, K-Mac, no-brainer, satire, zany
14 Comments
FAQ: Without a doubt
Q. My auto mechanic says I have a problem with my rear end. My gastroenterologist says the same thing. My dentist says it’s all in my endo so he sent me to an endodontist. My neighbor says I’ve got my … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, Baloney, doubt, F.A.Q., fake, satire, sneeze, zany
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Small boners
Q. I’m running for president but people say I’m crazy. How do I prove I’m not? A. Are you the guy who says Australia doesn’t exist because you’ve never been there? Q. Same with New Zealand. Have you ever been … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, Scribe v. Pharisees
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., humor, idiot, irony, satire, zany
3 Comments
F.A.Q. The Deal
(Due to previous commitments, the part of A. is played today by his understudy, B.) Q. What’s the deal? B. Seven card stud. Two down, one up. Ante’s a buck. Two raises, max. And nothing, I repeat, nothing is wild. … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., humor, satire, zany
2 Comments
F.A.Q. An abundance of caution
Q. I hear people saying we should take an abundance of cotton. What does that mean? A. You’re hearing it wrong. It’s an abundance of caution. Q. Is that like saying you want a toss salad, when you really mean … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged caution, cotton balls, F.A.Q., funny, humor, satire, Texarkana, zany
6 Comments
FAQ: Mental Health
Q. I have a friend who has been diagnosed with mental health. Is it contagious? A. You tell me. Recently, scientists put laboratory mice with mental health into a cage with mice who were crazy about bluegrass. After an hour, … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., funny, knucklehead, mental health, parody, satire, zany
10 Comments
Frequently Asked Questions about that
Q. What’s up with that? A. Which that is that? Q. That that. A. Excuse me, it almost sounded like you said that that. Q. Yes, I said that. A. You mean that that. Q. I mean that that what? … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., funny, parody, That, zany
10 Comments
a hint of light 