Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: funny
FAQ: Mental Health
Q. I have a friend who has been diagnosed with mental health. Is it contagious? A. You tell me. Recently, scientists put laboratory mice with mental health into a cage with mice who were crazy about bluegrass. After an hour, … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., funny, knucklehead, mental health, parody, satire, zany
10 Comments
Frequently Asked Questions: The schneid
Editor’s note: In the previous post “Those who are on the schneid,” I grievously presumed the term “schneid” was commonly understood among those who commonly understand things. For those who commonly misunderstand the commonly understood I offer this F.A.Q. Memorize … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, humor, parody, satire, schneid, zany
6 Comments
Those who are on the schneid
It has been my experience that there are two kinds of people in this world: • Those who use their turn signal and those who don’t have to because their mother said so. • Those who believe in God and … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, buffalo, funny, humor, parody, satire, schneid, zany
17 Comments
The giant in the green hat
I’m standing on a corner, wondering why I’m not inside where the rain isn’t so bad. A half-drenched guy comes up to me and says “You heard about this Hadron Collider thing they got going over there in France?” If … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged dreams, funny, Hadron, satire, science, zany
2 Comments
Frequently Asked Questions about that
Q. What’s up with that? A. Which that is that? Q. That that. A. Excuse me, it almost sounded like you said that that. Q. Yes, I said that. A. You mean that that. Q. I mean that that what? … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., funny, parody, That, zany
10 Comments
Up the Yingo
Studying proverbs of dead wise men won’t make you wise. Fact: Chinese proverb* writers never studied. They just said the first thing that came to mind. Wisers like Confucius or Sun Tzu or Laozi would look at a bleeding corpse … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, humor, proverbs, satire, wisdom
2 Comments
The trousers of regret
I feel the need to talk about pants. When speaking of pants, one might talk about the color, the material or the zipper. One might even fall into a discussion about when it’s vital to wear pants, or when it’s … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, humor, Latin, pants, Spanish Inquisition, zany
6 Comments
a hint of light 