Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: humor
Frequently Asked Questions: Butt dialing
Q. You keep talking about butt dialing. What does that mean? A. Sometimes when you sit down with your smart phone in your back pocket, the weight of your butt pressing against your key pad inadvertently activates a phone number. … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, bongo drums, butt dialing, funny, humor, satire
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Questions that bother me so.*
So. Here’s a question. So, why do so many people, from age zero, up to but not including age geezer, begin every comment, every question, every answer to every question with the word so? So. See? So. No seeum. So. … Continue reading
I’ve got your enormous butt
Dear readers of AHintOfLight Please excuse Patrick for not posting to his blog the past two weeks. He has been in Disposed, Kansas, attending a workshop on the use of caution. As he is a painfully slow learner, we used … Continue reading
Thinking with your beak
Although debate over same sex marriage has temporarily cooled, a new assault on the I-do-I-do tradition has been sucked into the 24-hour news cycle. I speak of the controversial and very delicate some sex marriage movement. Champions of the movement, … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged absurd, bulges, Funkland, funny, humor, neenu nana, Plato, satire, some sex marriage
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Designate this
Psychiatrists have finally recognized Baseball Player Personality Disorder–sometimes known as On the Schneid Syndrome. In “The Sabermetrics of Stinking Up The Stadium,” Dr. Ferris Wheeler states that, next to striking out while being intentionally walked, the most painful moment in … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, baseball, Blue Wahoos, funny, gnome, humor, satire, therapist, waivers
4 Comments
The naked astronomer
Have you noticed how time seems to be going faster and faster? I went to bed last week as a promising 32-year-old and when I woke up I was missing my hair, I had an appointment for a colonoscopy and … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, Beano, flatulent, funny, gluten, humor, lip plumpers, satire, Utica Club
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Don’t do that, you idiot
Just as those with whooping cough tend to whoop it up a lot, and those with erectile dysfunction cannot whoop it up one little bit, those who suffer from the angst of anxiety are often very anxious. But while the … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, anxiety, dreams, funny, humor, pooping, satire, whooping
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a hint of light 