Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: satire
Thirteen Ways of Looking at an App*
I. Sometimes it’s all a confusing jumble. Jumble, jumble, bo bumble, Fee fi fo fumble. Jumble. II. Questions dog you. Dogs question you. Who, what, where, when, why? Arf? III. In your pocket, in your cargo shorts, your eyeyiyiyi phone … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, app, Blackbird, cargo shorts, humor, satire, velcro, Wallace Stevens, zany
2 Comments
Maybe, maybe not
A bear and a dwarf walk into a bar. The bartender sees the bear and says “What have we here?” The dwarf says “Who said that?” The bartender says “Who said ‘Who said that?’” The bear says “The dwarf.” The … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, bears, dwarf, humor, satire, unisex, zany
1 Comment
Corrugated poop
Over at The Mental Couch, the big outlet where shrinks get their furniture and rubber-room fixtures, they also sell colorful, washable placemats that list all mental disorders. You’ll find Nuts, Half-Nuts, Nut Boy, Nut Meg, Donna, Astrid, etc. A perfect … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, funny, goddammitly, goulash, Nee-nu-na-na, satire, zany
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Small boners
Q. I’m running for president but people say I’m crazy. How do I prove I’m not? A. Are you the guy who says Australia doesn’t exist because you’ve never been there? Q. Same with New Zealand. Have you ever been … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, Scribe v. Pharisees
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., humor, idiot, irony, satire, zany
3 Comments
Rearranging the donuts
Ever been to one of those pricey writer’s workshops held in the mountains, or the prairies or the oceans, white with some sort of foaming ick? You’ll hear bestselling authors giving out all sorts of advice on how to write … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, donuts, funny, satire, sigmoidoscopy, zany
6 Comments
Along comes a goober
Have recently read that the best tactic when negotiating is knowing when to shut up. Note: the tactic isn’t shutting up. It’s knowing when to shut up and only then shutting the actual up. Just another example of how nothing … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, goober, hoo-ha, humor, satire, zany
2 Comments
F.A.Q. The Deal
(Due to previous commitments, the part of A. is played today by his understudy, B.) Q. What’s the deal? B. Seven card stud. Two down, one up. Ante’s a buck. Two raises, max. And nothing, I repeat, nothing is wild. … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., humor, satire, zany
2 Comments
a hint of light 