Tag Archives: zany

Venom and snot

Posted on January 5, 2016 by PMcG

That’s it. No more mister funny guy. No more silly stuff. No more laughs, no more being witty and wry. Not even pumpernickel. From now on I write nothing but sourdough, sauerbraten, sweet and sour sauce, hold the sweet (but … Continue reading →

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

How to open an English muffin

Posted on December 24, 2015 by PMcG

Step 1. Get an English muffin. Now. Step 2. Stand near a window so you can see what you’re doing. Make sure you are decent. Step 3. Hold the muffin in one hand by its edges and gaze upon it … Continue reading →

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Loose screws

Posted on December 16, 2015 by PMcG

When I awoke this morning, I glanced at the sports page and discovered I am still mathematically alive. I went to have my blood drawn. The artist on duty suggested water colors because she likes the way they bleed. Out … Continue reading →

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

It’s nothing, really

Posted on December 9, 2015 by PMcG

Scientists have a fairly straight-forward rule. Before they are allowed to make a major announcement (“Hello? Is this thing on? Attention everyone: water is composed of two parts hydrogen, one part oxygen. That is all. Thank you.”) they have to … Continue reading →

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Yawning cleavage

Posted on December 3, 2015 by PMcG

If we can pinpoint a single meteor taking a whizz across outer space–and land an entire outlet mall on it–you’d think we could locate a single pen in our homes and not have to write our grocery lists, our MacArthur … Continue reading →

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

The 5 Biggest Myths about Thanksgiving

Posted on November 25, 2015 by PMcG

1. The Indians arrived in a Plymouth. A very common misconception. In fact, The Puritans sailed from England in The Mayflower, which hit a large rock just off Massachusetts. It sank within sight of the Cape Cod Plymouth dealership. Because … Continue reading →

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Ask a bluesman

Posted on October 27, 2015 by PMcG

Q. I think I have the blues, but my doctor says it’s just irritable bowel syndrome. A. Is your doctor a bluesman? Q. He’s a gastroenterologist. A. You mean an ologist who enters your gastro works? Q. Not in the … Continue reading →

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments