Tag Archives: zany

Itsky

…and  in conclusion, let me say if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t know what I know now. I might have taken a different path. I might not be here now. I might be over there where … Continue reading

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The written test-19

This coronavirus written test is for those too squeamish to have a goal post stuck up their noses and twirled like a swizzle stick. (That’s right, some people have more than one nose. Your point?) In 500 words or less, … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , | 8 Comments

The Peanut Vendor’s Widow

Q. Excuse me. I lost my cell phone. Have you seen it? A. Do I know you? Q. If you knew me, you’d know you don’t know me. A. Then how would I have seen your cell phone? Q. That’s … Continue reading

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Gorilla suit protocol (applies also to grizzlies)

Q. I’m thinking of robbing a bank. Should I wear a mask? A. You mean so nobody will describe you to a police artist for the wanted poster? Q. I’ve got a gorilla mask leftover from Halloween. I wear that … Continue reading

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Eye-squinting

Some days I wake up to the melodies of smiling, chirping birds. They make me want to bound out of bed and sing the harmony parts, although K-Mac has a strict policy about singing in the bedroom while she is … Continue reading

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From the hair down

Q. I heard the lieutenant-governor of Texas say there are more important things in life than living. A. Like what? Q. That’s what I wanted to ask. What’s more important than living? A. Hockey? Q. No. Because, see, hockey falls … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

Chisel-headed communist

I was signing into some website and it asked for my password. I admit I am one of those complete and troublesome idiots who can never remember any of the 1,271 passwords for my 1,271 most important websites. Over the … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments