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Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
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Feed Your Head
Tag Archives: absurd
Warning: Squint your eyes
F.A.Q. Irony(ish) Q. What is the difference between ironic and ironical? A. The letters A-L, which is AL. Q. Wouldn’t that be “who” is AL, since AL is a person, not a thing and therefore deserving of a personal pronoun? … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, Jimmy Eat World, salami, satire, torpedo
4 Comments
Sigh ops
I sat on the edge of my bed this morning and thought about the unpleasant, energy-devouring items on my agenda for the day: shovel the walk, mow the lawn, call Putin and tell him communism sucks, pressure wash the outhouse, … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, Ernnnnnn, humor, jammies, satire, sigh, Stonewall Jackson
5 Comments
Full (as a tick) disclosure
You’re about to do something so bold, so socially weird that, should you be caught, your career — if you have one — is over. If you don’t have one, you will be issued a temporary, well-paying career with good … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, goofus interruptus, K-Mac, major loon, marmelade, peccadillo, Putin, satire, zany
4 Comments
Watch your head
Here’s what we know so far: Public confidence in the statement “That could never happen” has fallen in the polls, replaced by the fast-rising, seldom-believed promise “That will never happen again.” Mean people suck and will continue to suck for … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, Alice, earbnb, fois gras, funny, satire, schneid, zany
5 Comments
No brainer
Haven’t we all laughed, maybe even slapped our thighs until it hurt so much we had to slap somebody else’s thighs, when somebody challenges another’s intelligence with “Where were you when they handed out the brains?” For those with a … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, satire, slobbering, sudoku, underwear, zany
2 Comments
Quoting the Spearman
Q. Right. I’ll say something and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Then, I’ll say something else and you give me your first thought and so on and so forth, yada yada yada, yabba yabba do, boom … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, henchman, meddlesome, satire, Spearman, wisdom, zany
4 Comments