Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: F.A.Q.
F.A.Q. How to sell your personal papers
Q. I see where Tom Wolfe sold his papers to the New York Public Library. I have a stack of old papers for lining the bottom of the bird cage. I haven’t needed them since my parrot ran off with … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged Conan, F.A.Q., parrot, satire, Tom Wolfe, zany
3 Comments
Interview Fails
Interview with Waldo Interviewer: Where are you? Waldo: I’m right here. Interviewer: I can’t see you. Waldo: But I can see you. Interviewer: Come on, give me a hint. Waldo: I’m wearing a red and white striped shirt. Interviewer: Is … Continue reading
FAQ: Idioms
Q. What is an idiom? A. An idiom is a meeting place for idiots. Not to be confused with idiocy, which is a municipality full of idioms. Think Los Angeles. Q. That’s insulting to Los Angeles. A. Do you live … Continue reading
Frequently Asked Questions: Dystopia
Q. I’ve heard the word dystopia used a lot lately. Is it contagious? A. Just to clarify, you want to know about dystopia, not dattopia, right? Some people get them mixed up. Q. What the heck is dattopia? A. And, … Continue reading
Frequently Asked Questions: The nose
Q. Why do we have a nose? A. So we can breathe and live happily ever after or until we stop breathing. Whichever comes first. Q. How does your nose smell? A. It smells okay, how about yours? Q. I … Continue reading
F.A.Q. The N.S.A.
Q. What does N.A.S.A stand for? A. It’s N.S.A. You’re thinking of astronauts. Q. How do you know what I’m thinking? A. Well, ironically, that’s what the NSA is all about. Q. So what is the NSA? Why is it … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision
Tagged F.A.Q., funny, humor, satire
7 Comments
Infrequently Asked Questions
If a guy named Charles Wood is called “Woodchuck” by his friends, how long before he gets it? When Johns Hopkins was a boy, did his friends call him Jacks? Why is f*rt a socially taboo word but you can … Continue reading
Posted in F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged F.A.Q., humor, satire
4 Comments
a hint of light 